better to die rather than leaving addiction..that was my past feeling...lets have a look, how it change in one sentence...

guys, as we all are well attached with the word 'love' and sometimes fed up as well. but sometimes if we keep thinking about this word, this ll change the whole life. i know many people wants to quit their addiction but they can't; happiness, sadness, hard work, before bed, after bed every time we need it. later when we start feeling effects, cancer, weakness and sometimes our mirror wrinkle image then start getting crazy, i through my pack away many times lol. one of my friend got lung cancer, i went to see him, i cried alot and thorough  that away too far..later....you know wot i did..that is characteristic of addiction. after 20 years of addiction, i could not sleep ever 2 hours a night, try to eat no more hunger, level of addiction was increasing every day, just waiting my body to smoke. 

i was just struggling to sleep, i heard a phone ring, but that time i did not want to answer any more call just enjoying life with addiction. i try to cancel the call, but i wrongly press the answer button and heard lady speaking  """" i love you my son"""""... i did not speak more than love u too, i m busy call u next day. i started going through my mom love word...i think alot alot. that word let me know this is not my own life, its my  mom as well she gave me this life, care me, love me millions times than me and if i die because of my bad habit than i m not dying alone,i m killing her as well, i will be the murderer of my mom, my creator, my heart. surprisingly, i did not through that away, i just wrote, i hate you on that and keep with me still i have, but never  wants to use that again... i got to go now ..

many thanks 

dont forget to give me comments, i have many incident to share ..i ll continue